Genghis Con 2: The Wrath of Con

An On Site Review by Doug Waltz

It was Friday morning and the first of many evil portents reared its ugly head; Kalamazoo had been blanketed in a fog of biblical proportions. It was the type of fog that you couldn't see ten feet in front of your face. The kind that leprous sailors emerged from, hell bent on retrieving their ill gotten gold. The kind that Rod Serling used whenever he needed people to travel through time for insidious purposes.
In other words, it was damned hard to see.
But, in this case, something much worse than morality spewing time travels and leprous zombie sailors awaited me on the beginning of my journey into the weekend. Reality was about to rear it's ugly head and smack me in the face.

Before I could make my way to the event known as Genghis Con 2: The Wrath of Con, I had to put in my nine hours at the employment that manages to do a horrendous job of making my financial ends meet. It's not a bad job, pretty easy actually, but I have caviar tastes on a cheeseburger salary.
So, the end of the day draws to an end and I go out to my trusty mode of transportation; a 1969 Olds Cutlass station wagon. She might not look like much, but the engine under her hood can make most cars weep for mercy. On this occasion when I turned the key I got zero response. I had left the lights on all day. Thankfully, I work for a large pharmaceutical company and one of the guards was willing to give the vehicle a much needed jump. I was on my way.
Originally, I had planned to leave very early Saturday morning and jet down for one day at the convention. Upon learning that film director Chris Seaver would be showing his latest opus on Friday at midnight, my plans changed. There was no way I would miss the premiere of HEATHER AND PUGGLY COCK BLOCK THE APOCALYPSE. Seaver is nothing short of a comedic genius in my book, plus my six year old son, Dan is his biggest fan. Dan couldn't go, but I could at least tell him how it was.
Now I was running late but still full of hope that I would make it on time. I had packed the night before checked everything five times and forgot nothing. I even had my handy dandy map from Yahoo! To get me there in one piece.
It would have been nice of Yahoo! To inform me that a majority of my route would be on a toll road that would help to suck away my meager budget. I got there, but at the cost of who knows what delectable goodies at the convention.
And, being me, I did manage to get lost twice on the way there.
Finally, I arrived. Late. Still I managed to catch a large portion of the flick and it was pure Seaver and that is a very good thing. At that point I was too tired for words so I retired to the car. Did I mention that I was a cheapskate? I knew that I would be up again in a few hours so I slept in the car like a bay for about four hours. Then it was time to attend to cleaning up, changing wardrobe and locating some much needed food before the convention started up
One of the rules of conventioning that I learned many, many moons ago was that you never stay at or eat at the hotel the convention is being held at. They know that you're trapped there and will succumb to their every, over priced whim. Not me.

So, I arrived a little early to the convention and met the lovely Amy Lynn Best. Amy and her husband, Mike Watt were the ones in charge of the convention and were glad to see me. Having reviewed their films; Resurrection Game and Severe Injuries and given them the glowing reviews they deserved, they must have liked the ideas of the second o around of their convention being covered by someone who 'got' their way of thinking.
Now, at most conventions I have a problem with being too much of a fan boy. It's a curse and one that I am trying to change. The last convention I attended was Motor City Comic Con. Adam West was there. According to my lovely wife, Martha, it wasn't pretty. The real big names (to me) at the con were going to be Lloyd Kaufman and Joe Bob Briggs. Having corresponded with both of these illustrious gentlemen I wasn't too worried about going into fan boy mode.

But first, I had stuff to drop off. Mark Baranowski and Ryli Morgan were going to be there and I had promised the husband and wife film making team bumper stickers. One of the true perks of my job is free printing and I had made up some stickers before the convention. I also gave Ryli some issues of Divine Exploitation, a rag that I edit, to sell at her table so she could make a few extra bucks for the baby fund. Mark and Ryli are expecting in December. Then Mark and I proceeded to talk for the next 90 minutes or so. Makes me wish I had a tape recorder. They are super nice people and it was great to meet them after praising their films all these years.
After Mark and Ryli I had to go over to see Low Budget Pictures because my son, as I mentioned before, is a big fan and I had made a picture of him grinning with their flicks and wanted to give it to them. They loved it! Chris even called Dan later and talked like his character Bonejack for Dan. Dan is still talking about this to anyone who cares so I feel sorry for all his teachers at school right about now. The LBP gang is a fantastic group of people and LBP regular, Meredith Host might just be one of the most gorgeous creatures to grace the entire convention.
Okay, I had given away my stuff and went to see Joe Bob Briggs. I am writing a book review column for his site so; I thought it might be nice to meet the gentleman in person. He was the nicest guy and said he looks forward to reading my stuff. Very cool!
Then I got up the nerve to go see Lloyd Kaufman. Lloyd was a manic ball of energy. I gave him a copy of Divine Exploitation and he made me autograph it! He found out I was with the press and he made me promise to review his new book, Toxic Avenger, The Novelization Of The Movie! I already did a review at amazon.com and plan on including a review in my own zine. Look for a review to appear here in Penguin Comics as well sometime in the future. I got my picture taken with Lloyd and the lovely Tromette, Heidi. This girl was quite yummy and very friendly to boot.
Then, I had to go see my girl; Linnea Quigley. I hadn't seen Linnea since 1991 so it had been awhile. She is still gorgeous with those beautiful, blue eyes and so nice. She remembered me after I gave her a copy of Divine Exploitation. Her husband looked pretty worn out, but happy to be there with his wife.
Tina Krause was there and having a great time. I made sure to thank her for a recent interview I did with her.
I watched two films while I was there. Mike and Amy showed a rough cut of their new film, ABBATOIR. What can I say? Great flick and I can hardly wait to see it when it's completed so, I'm holding off on a real review until then. The true highlight of the film for me was the vivacious Rachelle Williams of films like; EXPENDABLE and SIN BY MURDER. She played a hot, sexy, ass kicking vampire prostitute and made the flick for me.
The other film was BIKINI BLOOD BATH. A throwback to the mindless slasher flicks of the 80's and very tongue in cheek. Go to bloodbathpictures.com for more info. I laughed so hard watching this flick I can hardly wait for the sequel; BIKINI BLOOD BATH: BIKINI CARWASH.
So, all in all it was a great convention. Very intimate and that made it all the more better for yours truly. I did manage to find a road home that involved very little toll road. Next time I will steer clear of Yahoo! and their bizarre mapping policies. It's Monday, I've had a day and a half to recover from the sleepless fun that was Genghis Con 2: The Wrath Of Con! I can hardly wait for Genghis Con 3: King Con!