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(Editors Note: Somewhere in the vastness of the Cyber-Universe this article was posted weeks ago and got lost. I figure it was Infinite Crisis that caused a Reality Wave that messed it all up. Blame DC.)

How is everyone? Good I hope. It has been quite a while since I sat down to do one of these things, but my ducks have been in nothing resembling a row as of late and life happens pretty damned fast sometimes. Anyway, I'm back on track so let's get back to a new and improved Tower Of The Obscure.
On an off track 'new and improved' is nonsense. If it's 'new' then it can't be improved yet. And if it's 'improved' then it's been around for a while and isn't new. Just one of those myriad things eating at my brain.
Now, onto the movies!
Before we get to the review section there is something that I would like to address in this column. Movie previews. Why is it that the people in charge of making movies assume that we are all morons. Remember the trailer for Castaway with Tom Hanks. You know the one where they show that he got off the island!?! What was that about? Now comes the biggest offense in film history. When A Stranger Calls. Now, I am a big fan of the original and it's because of the twist. The fact that we find out that the killer has been calling from inside the house. Wow! I remember the first time I saw that and what a cinematic bombshell it was. Of course Carol Kane really helped sell the moment with her expressive eyes, but it was still pretty darn cool. Now comes another in a line of unnecessary remakes and they give us the big reveal in the preview! What is wrong with Hollywood these days? I know you all have an answer to that particular question so let's leave it as rhetorical.
Just one of those things that crawl under my skin like a critter from the Cthulu mythos.
Now, really onto the movies!
DR. CALAGARI (1989) Directed by Stephen Sayadian (a.k.a. Rinse Dream)
Okay, I can hear the groaning from here so, knock it off. I remember buying this video at a garage sale of all places and it was just because the box art seemed to pull me in. Then I watched it and I was hooked. This piece of surreal, psycho babble nonsense is probably one of the finest examples of absurd cinema around. Let's recap, shall we?
Mrs. Van Houten (Laura Albert) is a disturbed woman. There are men with kewpie doll faces and sharp razors after her. Plus, people are erupting in sores. The woman spews dialogue that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and her husband, Mr. Van Houten (Gene Zerna) is understandably worried. He contacts Dr. Calagari (Madeleine Reynal), granddaughter of the infamous original Dr. Calagari to voice his concerns. She recommends committal, but only because she has designs on Mrs. Van Houten. It seems that she would be the perfect subject of a little mind swapping with a violent patient by the name of Gus Pratt (John Durbin). Meanwhile Dr. Lodger (David Parry) and his wife Ramona (Jennifer Balgobin) voice their concerns to Ramona's father Dr. Avol (Fox Harris).
I'd go on, but the rest of the film is really something that you must experience for yourself.
It is a kaleidoscope of color and neon. At no time do we leave obvious sets. There are no outside shots. Even when Ramona drives to see her father she does so in a cardboard car with rotating, neon wheels.
Certain performances make this a true classic. John Durbin as Gus Pratt is a high voltage maniac in this role. Gus is a cannibal by nature and very fond of electro therapy. His constant begging for another shock is hilarious and his method of delivery will leave your head reeling.
Laura Albert as Mrs. Van Houten exudes sexuality in her role as a madwoman. It doesn't hurt that she wears little if anything in the role. Her constant stream of consciousness delivery makes for a memorable performance.
Then there's Fox Harris. What can I say? The man is a genius and he comes to the role of Dr. Avol as someone who plays with way too many pharmaceuticals. Add to that a penchant for boiled sheep trotters served with a pair of sheep clippers and his transformation into Marilyn Monroe and the man runs away with the show.
The amazing part of this film is that the director, Stephen Sayadian who gave us Café Flesh under his alias of Rinse Dream and then this wild ride did little else. Sure there was the Nightdream movies with Tori Welles in the first one making it an instant classic in adult cinema, but the sequels seemed to pale in comparison. True, this was a time period where pornography was starting to lose any attempt at pretending to be an actual movie, but the man has such talent that it seems a waste.
Dr. Calagari is a film waiting patiently for an ultimate sequel. Sad to say that day will probably never come.