And then there is confession time. And that it is what this article is all about, confession. The confession of an adult man, with a burden on his heart. Man. This is a tough article to write. But, I feel like you people are my friends, and that I can trust you.
It is time for me, Larry Stanley the Ultimate Fanboy to quit hiding behind a façade, a wall devised to protect a secret shame. It is time for me to come out of the closet.
My name is Larry, I am 47 years old. And I still like to read Archie Comics.
No, now keep yourselves under control. There is no need for a lynch mob. I come to you freely, to explain why I still enjoy the teenage exploits of this bunch of kids.
Because they are just plain fun.
The first time I started reading them, I was about 11, back in 1967. It was a copy of Pureheart the Powerful, and I picked it up because I thought it was a superhero book. And it was, sort of. I was too young to know what a parody was, but I remember laughing and thinking to myself that this is what Superman would be like if he was a klutz.
And from there, it just went on. The jones was on me, and no matter what I did, I could not resist it. The sweet stories, the simple art, the overall friendliness of the characters just got me hooked. It was like I needed to read about the gang down at the Chok’lit Shop.
I had to know what was happening to them.
It got to the point where I would go in, pick up a Superman, a couple of other DC titles, maybe some Marvel’s and in the middle of the stack, I would hide a couple of Archie titles. If the clerk looked at them funny, I would say they were for my little sister. But it was a lie, and they knew it. Everyone knew I didn’t have a little sister. They were for me, and my shame seemed to burden me each time.
Archie Comics were for –little kids- not for a mature almost teenager like myself. And it got worse. I started to sneak them around the house. I would read one when I had a DC book, by putting the Archie inside the cover, and reading it then.
Once in school, I guess by this time I was almost 15, I got caught sneaking a copy of Archie’s Pal and Gals into study hall, and the secret was almost out, but I covered up by saying I had found it in the hallway. I don’t think too many people believed me though, what with all the looks I got as I sat down.
I gave them up when I was about 20. It was painful, and for a while the DT’s set in, and withdrawal symptoms were terrible. I would think I saw Betty and Veronica at the mall. Once, I almost bought a Jughead cap. And I stopped myself, just as I realized I would actually WEAR it at my age, not just put it on a shelf.
But, it worked and I was able to stay away from them. I had beaten the jones; I had defeated the youthful monkey on my back. I was Free.
Until about 12 years ago, when I was wandering through a Salvation Army in Stockton. I was just meandering around, checking out the old records and looking for Science Fiction anthologies when I saw it.
It was an old Archie Giant. And I am talking old. I think it was one of the first 2 or 3. And I walked away from it; I resisted the urge to pick it up. I think by that time, I was at a point where I didn’t think they even did Archie Comics anymore, and I had pretty much forgotten the sweet nectar of Betty Cooper as she tried to get Archie to notice her. I had pretty much gotten past the memory of Jughead trying to avoid girls, and Reggie trying to one up Archie in front of Veronica.
But, the ghost was still there, just waiting for the chance to spring out and control me once more. Later, at the grocery store I went to the Comic rack (an old spinner rack, the older fans know what I am talking about) and started to paw through them, to see if I could find something I had missed at Bonanza.
And there it was. Betty and Veronica, still friends, still pals, still trying to get to Archie.
And I bought it. Oh, just for old time’s sake, you know. Just to take that short walk back down memory lane. And I read it that night. And again the next day. And I knew I was still hooked. I had hidden the truth from myself for too long. I started to read them again. I would go to a different store then Bonanza though to buy them. At first, it started simply enough.
I began to only buy the older stuff, the early appearances. I justified it by saying to people “I am just a collector” or “I read them for nostalgia”. I would not buy a newer issue. Until one day when I was trapped in a distant town on vacation.
There was no Comic shop in town, and it was so small there wasn’t even a used paperback store. So, in Florence, Oregon I bought a couple of issues of Archie, and one of Betty.
And I saw that these new stories, with new writers and artist’s were really no different then the ones I had read as a kid or the stories in the ‘older’ issues I had clandestinely bought. I realized that in all the time that had passed, they were still kids, still with that fresh look at the world.
They were innocent. Yes, they dealt with some of the same problems kids in the real world did. I found to my delight and sometimes to my consternation, that the stories reflected the real world around them.
These kids dealt with prejudice, anger, parental problems, school hassles, and most of the same problems that exist for every new generation of kids. And the same as every generation of kids think that their parents didn’t have it this difficult, and had different problems, the kids at Riverdale dealt with them fresh every few years, and treated them as if they were brand new to them each time.
I saw them dealing with first loves, and snobbery; animosity and jealousy, and even though I had just seen it a few issues ago, it was still done in a way that made it seem that the kids were talking to a new group, and that they had never faced these things before.
It was wonderful. It still is. Last night, I went through a stack of Archie’s and his friends and felt like I was a kid again. I laughed at their antics, and felt a satisfaction that I miss now and then with the Spandex Crowd.
Archie and the gang are friendly. Yes, they are safe. They are a refuge in a world dominated by fear, worry and depression. You know that Jughead is still going to eat like there is no bottom to his stomach, Reggie is still a jerk, Archie is still a normal teen-age boy, Dilton is a genius, Moose and Midge are still together, Betty is still the ‘girl next door’.
And Veronica is… Well, she is Veronica. What can you say about a woman who has everything, acts like a princess and still hangs out with all the poorer kids in school? You want to hate her, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
Yes, I have my preferences on each member of the group. I am not crazy about Sabrina, and can take of leave Josie and the Pussycats. Veronica is just not my favorite. I think the ‘Bee is the sort of principal I would have liked in school. Jughead is the best friend since Tonto, and Archie is always going to be the kid you wish was your best friend.
And Betty. Man, Betty. Why in the world Archie doesn’t get off that fence and see her for who and what she is, I don’t know. But, that will never happen. At least not in the ‘real world’. That is one eternal triangle I don’t think anyone really wants to see go away. 
Archie Comics are pure. They are honest. They still deal with just being who you are, without putting on a fake face, without hating who you are or can be. In one of the latest issues, Betty (Yes, I like Betty. Got a problem?) is coaching a little girl’s basketball team (Betty #132, Role Model). She needs someone to help her, but instead of getting Archie or one of the schools really ‘great’ athletes, she picks Big Ethel. Now, Ethel is well aware of her short-comings on the playing field and tells Betty this. During practice, she misses lay-up shots, screws up on her dribbling, and has various problems.
But, she still tries to show the kids the things to do, and the kids even help her to work on her game. When practice is over, she confronts Betty saying she knows why she asked her instead of Moose or Midge or someone else.
And Betty tells her that she ‘didn’t need a star player, she needed someone who works hard and never gives up to inspire them, and Ethel is that kind of player’.
Role Models. That is what kids need today and seldom get anywhere else. I like that. And I like Archie Comics.
And apparently I am not the only one, with Archie nearing the 600 mark; a lot of folks must be reading them and enjoying them.