VALIANT (2005) **

During the First two World Wars there were a number of heroes that the average person didn't know much about. Oh there were the stories of Marines at Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal, the soldiers at the Battle of the Bulge, the men and women who worked in the shelters in London during the Blitz; the Red Baron being defeated over Germany, Sergeant York from Tennessee capturing dozens of German soldiers by doing Turkey calls then picking off a number of them.

But they weren't the only ones. France has a memorial to the over 20,000 military that were killed during the war. During WW2 Britain decorated and buried with military honor the same group of heroes. Who were they? President Wilson, Lady Astor, Lord Adelaide, Julius Caesar, GI Joe, Jungle Joe, Snow White and Burma Queen. They all held the rank of captain. They and their other brothers and sisters (over 50,000 of them) had a crew of more then 3000 soldiers and 150 officers to take care of their needs.

Many were trained to fly at night; they went with the paratroopers and submarines and made pictures of the enemy's fleet, troops and targets for air attacks. Lord Mayor with the Dickin Medal of Gallantry honored GI Joe in London. Snow-White had a successful flight in Berlin during bombing raids. She was honored with the "Military Cross".

Scotch-Lass was dropped with a secret agent in the Netherlands on the early morning of September 12, 1944. He reached England with 38 micro-photos although he was wounded. One of the most famous English military heroines was Mary, who was wounded 22 times. After flying for over five years she was killed in action. When the body was found it was covered with wounds.

These were all members of the Royal Air Force Homing Pigeon Service (RHPS). That's right, they were birds, pigeons trained to carry messages of hope to a war torn world.

There were also dogs and cats and a couple of horses that were winners of the Dickin Award. As recently as the Iraq war a six-year-old Springer spaniel named Buster earned Britain's highest animal bravery medal for his role in breaking a resistance cell in Iraq when he discovered a cache of weapons and drugs that were missed by soldiers searching a building.

But, the film "Valiant" deals totally with pigeons and their service during the Second World War. "Valiant", while it is inspired by the stories of the honored homing pigeons, is still just a goofy kids film from start to finish. It is also Disney's first animated offering since their break-up Pixar, and stepping in is Vanguard Animation.

What we finally wind up with is a farce with some small laughs but I already miss Pixar. The film never lives up to the style, humor and outright humanity offered by Pixar films and talent. "Valiant" (with the voice of Ewan McGregor) is the smallest pigeon in Britain and highly unlikely to be picked to join the flying service.

But after a chance meeting with the greatest hero in the RHPS Gutsy (voice of Hugh Laurie) he is off to London to join up. He first meets Bugsy, a very dirty bird (flies circle his head during the film, and he farts and burps a lot. Yes, you can tell this is a kids film) who has no desire to join the RHPS, but given the choice between death by two birds he has just cheated in gambling and the military, guess what happens? Valiant, Bugsy, and a collection of other odd birds find themselves in boot camp and are soon called upon to complete a dangerous mission.

The bad guys are the Nazi Falcons, led by the brooding Von Talon (voiced by the wonderful Tim Curry). They seek to kidnap and/or kill our heroes throughout the film and have already captured Mercury (John Cleese) and have forced him to tell them where the French resistance is located. It is Tim Curry and Cleese who saved this picture for me; the rest of the film was tepid, almost boring until the scenes reverted to these two characters.

The interplay between them was excellent and the scenes with Von Talon taking a shower were pure Curry. Wonderful. Yes, Vanguard delivered a beautiful film; at least when it came to the images on the screen. It just didn't have the story to back it up, or maybe I should say the script because the history in this story is amazing.

The vocal work is good, but not something you will think highly of years later. I can still hear Bugs Bunny's voice after all this time and Shrek still won't get out of my mind. But even though I really like Ewan McGregor and just saw the film, I still can't remember what Valiant sounds like. Ricky Gervais gets the most laughs as Bugsy since he is what a lot of kids want to be, unwashed and able to burp the alphabet, but it is still Tim Curry and John Cleese that steal the show.

Cleese' constant motor-mouth delivery of Mercury is classic Cleese, and Curry is allowed plenty of time to ham it up in his own way, and this is meant only in the best possible way. But the film still comes up short with the funny requirement. It committed the worst possible sin in a children's film; it was boring in way to many places.

Too much of the humor is forced and just turns into bathroom humor. There is enough of this in films already; can't anyone come up with something that is Funny anymore without including a fart in it? The film works only as end-of-the-summer entertainment for kids before they head back to school and I guess that was what it was for. But most likely it will be viewed one time and forgotten while Shrek, Toy Story, Lilo and Stitch and Monsters, Inc. will be remembered along with funnier films with better stories.