I had intended to do several things with this review after seeing this film. I thought of John Travolta jokes, of comparing the film to a polished turd (it is still a turd) all sort of stuff.
Then I just decided to deal with the film on it's own merit. But that would have been a three-sentence review, and Matt probably would not accept that.
So here we are, about to discuss the latest release of a 'gamer' film. A "Gamer" film is a movie about or made from a video game, in which either the dead come back to life or some evil entity sets out to kill the players.
Here, it is a combination of both these ideas. And it is truly sad; "Stay Alive" could have been a very good film. It has most of the elements for one, the undead returning, creepy old houses, eerie music, and a beautiful woman at the heart of it all.
But even with all that, it was still crap. I laughed through most of the film, and when it was over an older man coming down the steps stopped next to me and asked, "Was this a comedy or a horror film?"
The writer/director William Brent Bell worked to combine two legendary killers into one film. Instead of simply using the one with the most meaning in the U.S. he imported a villain, Countess Elizabeth Bathory of Slovakia.
The Countess was by all accounts one of the most beautiful women in Europe. Her skin was soft and clear, even in her 30's, which for that time was amazing. Countess Bathory lived, died and was actually walled up in the tower of her castle in the 17th Century.
This after she was tried in absentia for the torture and murder of between 50 and 651 young virgins. See, her skin was so clear because she bathed and consumed their blood. Apparently, one day while striking a servant several drops of blood struck her face, and according to her diary, "The wrinkles faded away."
For purposes of this film, she was transported from Europe of 400 years ago, to New Orleans, Louisiana of 150 to 200 years ago.
The second legendary murders actually took place in New Orleans, Louisiana in the early 19th Century. The wealthy and prominent family of Dr. Louis Lalaurie and his wife Delphine, abused, tortured, mutilated and finally murdered between 150 and 500 slaves over the years before a fire revealed their personal entertainment room.
The question now becomes, "With such a wealth of butchery available, why bring in an outsider?"
This film could have been good. As it was, the camera work was well done, the sound quality quite good, and the overall construction of the movie was 'not bad'. So, what went wrong?
First, as I said they combined two evil factors, Bathory and multiple torture/murders in New Orleans. Second, they added in elements of Vampirism; then they finally jumped to the legend of Perseus and the Medusa in Greek mythology.

Henceforth, Spoilers will apply. Spoiler space.
Spoiler space.
Spoiler space.
Spoilers will apply
Spoilers will apply
They say that if you die in the game, you die in real life. How many times have we heard that from a horror movie over the years? Without an original tagline, how could we expect an original film?
The dialogue is almost silly, the characters clichéd and in most cases annoying. Each of them seems cookie cutter designed for maximum modern horror film effect.
Normally, I enjoy seeing pretty, obnoxious people chopped into cat food as much as the next sociopath. But this thing reached far beyond any realm of 'suspension of disbelief'.
The special effects were not that well done, and actually do more to harm the film then help. With the concept of the characters moving into a video game and existing there, they used that to the extreme, with lots of video guts and beheadings, while the reality is mostly fast image, glimpse at death and destruction.
Now, I have been told "Had this been an "R" rated film, it would have been better." NO IT WOULD NOT. Try to understand this; the addition of tit's and tail or blood and guts does not make a movie better. It simply makes it filled with tits and tail or blood and guts.
If a film sucks, it will suck no matter what. And "Stay Alive" sucked. The ending is given away less then 20 minutes into the film, for Christ's sake; and when it finally happens, even knowing what is going to happen, you still groan because of the set up.
Yes, yes, yes… sharp flashes of evil figures scurrying around a room are supposed to be modern and arty, but here they did little more then bore the heck out of you. We are used to them now, folks. Come up with something a bit different, can we?
The only really creepy scenes appeared at the beginning of the film. Here the character Loomis, after playing the game, begins to hear funny noises in his house. Creaking boards, doors that seem to be open, mirrors that appear cracked, shadows.
Searching the house, he suddenly opens a door where he finds…
His two roommates having sex, the male wearing a pig-mask. Yes, a pig-mask. That should creep out almost anyone.
Ok, the ending. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
Upon arriving at the mansion where the game was developed, our heroes finally (finally) figure out the house is the same one in the game. As they are getting ready to go into the place, we are treated to the sight of a nice, big Motorcycle sitting next to the front door.
And that is the last of that. Inside the house, the lights are on, but no one's home. BWHAHAHAHAH. Always wanted to use that in a review, I knew if I waited I'd get the chance.
As they search the house, they actually do find that all the lights are on. In a secret room, they discover a work area, the walls covered with articles and drawings of the Countess. But no one to draw them or design the game!!
In fact, the owner of the Motorcycle is never shown or discussed.
Now, during a scene in the catacombs beneath the house, we are treated to a nice (liberal use of the word 'nice' here) image of dozens of little CGI dead girls following our heroes. Think of the dead girl in 'The Ring' but with arthritis, and you get the picture. I laughed so hard I spilled popcorn.
Look, if you want to see this thing fine. It is a good way to get a laugh if you are over 24 or a real horror fan. If you are younger, it will probably scare you.
The music score reminded me a great deal of Psycho. I wonder if that is a coincidence?
Oh, by the way. At the start of this review you will find what is the closest translation to the actual Prayer of Elizabeth that is known. Don't worry about reading it.
I been trying for years to get it to work against my enemies. I guess the blood of a virgin must be needed.