DOOM is the latest in a long line of "Hey, it's a game so lets make a movie
out of it to screw couch potatoes even more money," films. While it is better
then some of the others it will never be Oscar winning material and if you go
to the theater for that, baby you have a lot more problems then just needing entertainment.
Come on, let's be honest about this and admit up front that the whole video game
film genre is the worst idea in the history of Hollywood, right up there next
to "Smell-O-Vision" and Pauly Shore. We have been let down almost every
time by these type films, so why in the name of the Celluloid Gods would Doom
be any different? We have Andrzej Bartkowiak, director of such great and moving
films as "Cradle To The Grave" and "Exit Wounds" turned loose
in an almost complete darkness inside a metal warehouse where he and cinematographer
Tony Pierce-Roberts recreate the shadowy, spooky feel of the game.
To be blunt, Universal has let Andrzej Bartkowiak and writers Dave Callaham and
Wesley Strick loose and the final result is a gory, fun, good time for the whole
Manson family.
And the fact that it is a game movie makes no difference to me so if I get anything
wrong in the back-story feel free to not let me know, as I will never be playing
the game. I have enough problems with real life zombies, thank you very much.
Andrzej Bartkowiak delivers an action film in which the first part of the film
proves to be more entertaining then a majority of video game-based simply for
the misplaced and unintentional humor.
As you know, I love low budget films and films that are made by smaller, less
known companies, sometimes known as "B" film. But with a $70 million
budget and names like Di Bonaventura Pictures, Universal Studios and Stan Winston
Studios it isn't easy to call this low budget or "B" films. This is
a big budget, blood-fest that is so bad it is actually fun to watch.
The story begins sometime in the middle of this century and man has finally gotten
to Mars, and once they're there they discover a lost civilization and a device
called the "ARC", which allows people and things to be transported across
the distance from Earth to Mars.
Among the many interesting things about this lost civilization is that they had
an extra chromosome that turned some into super-beings and others into super-psychotics,
intent on killing, eating and butchering (not always in that order) anything living
that they find.
The Rock is Sarge, the leader of a small group of Marines sent to investigate
the situation after a distress call is sent out. Each of the men in his unit is
given a code name, like Destroyer, Goat, Duke, Portman, Grimm and the Kid. Portman
is a dirty minded leech with bad teeth; Goat carves crosses on his skin when he
takes the Lords name in vain and The Kid. Well, is a kid. Each is dressed in fashionably
black outfits since it is apparently easier to get the blood out of.
Oh, but Grimm has been to Mars before; turns out that about ten years earlier
his parents were killed during an archeological dig on the surface of the planet.
His sister, Sam, has returned there to carry on the family name while John joined
the Marines.
So, mix in some Aliens with a little Night of the Living Dead with a touch of
the WWF and you have the latest film in what is promising to be a long line of
video game films still to come.
Good, bad or somewhere in the middle I think the best thing that can be said for
films like Doom is whether or not they worth spending your hard earned money on
or should you just sit at home in your easy chair saving that cash for something
important like Doom 15?
For me, I enjoyed the film. I like the Rock. God, I hate saying that but I honestly
do. The man has a small amount of talent, he can act (some) and he does have a
decent look for the big screen.
And now that Arnie is into politics, I doubt if we can get him to play Conan again
so we better start looking for someone else right now.