Having spent more years than I care to admit immersing myself in the fringe
world of film, I came to realize that there are many films that slip through
the cracks. Films you hear about, but never watch. While we're all proud that
you memorized your copy of The Psychotronic Encyclopedia Of Film, you must
see the evidence for yourself.
Short of mailing bootleg copies to all that should view this obscure cinema
is this column. Why The Tower OF Obscure? Because if I was perusing a catalog
and saw a film with this title, I would buy it. I have a soft spot for lurid
titles. I'll buy a flick just because of its title. Sometimes this works in
my favor. SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS is a fine example of
a film living up to and even surpassing its exploitative title. Then there
are things like BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD. Sure we got our barn. We even got
dead. But we all know why we bought the damned video. Yep, you guessed it.
No naked. What a gyp.
There's another thing this column will address. Capsule reviews. Sure they
have their place, but sometimes you need lots of information on a film. Just
reading what happens in a film will make you seek it out. Does that mean there
will be spoilers in the column? I wouldn't call them spoilers because they
in no way would spoil the film. I prefer to call them details.
So, Tower Of The Obscure is a place where you find the bizarre, the twisted,
the what in the Hell were the filmmakers thinking kind of thing. So, let's
start things off with this installment's film du jour.
TOWER OF THE SCREAMING VIRGINS (1968)(Also titled LE DOLCEZZE DEL PECCATO
and DER TURM DER VERBOTENEN LIEBE) This last title translates into THE TOWER
OF THE FORBIDDEN LOVES and is actually more accurate than the American title.
Now, when I bought this the title and a brief paragraph are all that I had
to go on. A small black and white still showed an attractive naked woman so
I figured I was doing great. Then I got the movie.
Okay, there is a tower and they show it right away in the beginning of the
film. We were off to a good start. Then came the screaming virgins. THEY WERE
MEN!!! Sound kooky? Let me explain.
The queen of France is a knockout redhead who needs lots of that sweet lovin'.
Unfortunately, the king of France is impotent. To make sure we know this,
it's repeated a few times throughout the movie. So the queen and her chambermaids
decide to get some of the young studs to visit a tower where they get all
the royal poontang any man would be glad to get his hands on. But, when you're
done they whack you so you can't tell anyone that you were banging the queen
last night. Bad for her reputation, you understand.
Anyway, we are introduced to the hero of the piece. A swashbuckler without
peer. The blonde haired, blue eyed Buridan. While feeling up a young milkmaid
out in the country he comes across an old friend, the vivacious Blanche Dubois.
(Yeah, I know, but what are you gonna do?) Seems she's off to France and since
she's quite a hottie, Buridan tails along for the ride.
Once we arrive in France we are introduced to royal palace intrigue and backstabbing
that happens every time you get supposedly dignified people together in a
large room. Of course to make sure we know that the Duke Of St. Laurian is
a bad guy he's dressed in black from head to toe. With the other color choices
on display I would have had to be the bad guy for this flick. Purple and pink
are not my color.
Now before we go any further we need a little history lesson. A company called
Maron Films Ltd distributed the American version of this film. They are also
responsible for the release of other classics like DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS and
Luis Bunuel's TRISTANA.
In the sixties there were hundreds if not thousands of companies that would
buy foreign films and release them here in the states. And with a title like
THE TOWER OF THE SCREAMING VIRGINS any theater patron would go in expecting
a blood drenched horror flick.
Not a swashbuckler from France based on a play by Alexander Dumas. Yeah, the
guy who gave us The Three Musketeers. Not the candy bar, the book. I'm willing
to believe that while the basic concept was Dumas', the huge amount of skin
on display was the fault of the filmmakers.
In this case that would be director Franz Antel. The man who brought us such
films as THE SWEET SINS OF SEXY SUSAN (1967) and SEXY SUSAN SINS AGAIN (1969).
Hmmmmm, I sense a pattern.
Anyway back to the film. Buridan finds himself in the company of a couple
of brothers who are also residing in the inn where Buridan had to kick the
crap out of everyone there before he was allowed to get a room. One of the
brothers has been given a ring by the over endowed bar wench and told to meet
the humpback at midnight if he wishes to meet the woman of his dreams. Buridan
is also given a ring, although a little more reluctantly than the others.
Seems the bar wench is fond of Buridan after a little slap and tickle earlier
in the film.
So, Buridan, the young man and two others are taken to the tower where we
already know what is going to happen. Buridan blows off his date because of
his earlier fling with the bar wench. Just hasn't had time to recharge his
batteries I guess. The young man is given to the queen and she has the time
of her life. She is so enamored with her your suitor that she tells her guard
to spare his life. They point out what a bad idea this might be and they whack
him anyway. Buridan is able to escape with his life.
Okay, before we get to the sick and twisted plot twist, let's cover our lead
actor. When I first got this film I figured it for a low budget sleaze fest
and most of the people involved with it were one hit wonders. Checking on
the director I found out what a mistake this was. Then I discovered that the
lead Jean Piat is a staple of French cinema and television.
He's been going strong since 1945 and really shows no sign of slowing down.
His film, television and theater credits number in the hundreds. He brings
a great presence to his role. He's brash, flamboyant and funny at one moment
while turning lethal when the times call for it. He really makes the film
and actually has started me down the path to obtain more of his films to see
his acting range.
Okay, now for the twisted part. Remember the brothers I mentioned? Seems that
Buridan and the Queen of France used to be an item. They had two sons and
she marked them with a special symbol when they were young in case they became
separated. Yes, the marks are mentioned in the film.
Anyway, then she became Queen of France, gave her children up for lost and
many years later did the nasty with her own son! I can almost believe that
this part did come from Dumas. The man could write a great potboiler.
In the end all who are evil pay with their lives and good once again triumphs
over the forces of darkness. And all is well with the world.
Now, in conclusion I must give you the reason this is such a great film. First
of all I was given a great historic high concept adventure flick with a tinge
of sleaze. Always a plus. Second, the film gives itself over to the Mystery
Science Theater 3000 treatment. Especially since no one who helped dub the
film are able to correctly pronounce the hero's name. Either they're saying
Prairie Dawn or Prairie Dog through the entire film. Couples that with a wild
jazz soundtrack that is so out of place that it can’t help but be amusing
and you’ve got a film that stands the test of repeated viewings. Hopefully,
this will infect those of you reading this and you too will discover the madness
that is TOWER OF THE SCREAMING VIRGINS. The virgins were guys. Who saw that
coming?