The Special "Kalamazoo" Edition

By Doug The Executioner

Okay, here in the bustling metropolis of Kalamazoo Michigan a couple of years back they made a movie called, KALAMAZOO? Like, no one had ever heard of the place. Some people falsely believe that Kalamazoo is unique because it is the only city with that name. Wrong! There is a Kalamazoo in West Virginia, Arkansas and Florida so the uniqueness of the name is highly exaggerated. Of course it was cool that they were making a movie in Kalamazoo and that genre stars Dee Wallace Stone and Ted Raimi were going to be in it, but all they really are have bit parts. The big three stars of the film are Mayim Bialik, Josie Davis and Joanna Clare Scott. I know, except for 'Blossom' who are these people? Well, what can you expect from a town with the name Kalamazoo. And of course it has to be a comedy, right? It's sort of comedic living here, but my wife tells me that it's because of the freak magnet that I have more than anything else.
So, here's the basic plot of the film;

Three women return home for their ten year high school reunion to discover that a time capsule made on graduation night, predicting where everyone would be in ten years time, is due to be opened and read aloud at the impending event. Horrified at the thought of their unfilled goals being revealed, they embark on a 'search and destroy' mission for the capsule and chaos ensues.

Wow! Does that sound lame as Hell? Or what? Plus Mayim Bialik has gained some severe weight so it's kind of sad and scary to see her in this flick. And the plot line seems to be lifted from thousands of sitcoms from days long past. Nothing original will come from this film with the exception of the idea of filming the entire thing in a town with a kooky name. Kind of makes us a one trick pony more than the new Hollywood of the Mid West, doesn't it?

In these parts the whole town is geared up for the premier of the movie which is tomorrow April 7th, 2006. Me? I'd rather go see Phat Girlz and you know I'm not going to see that.

So, this is Doug The Executioner signing off on a special report from the wilds of Kalamazoo. If this flick comes to your town, and why should it? Run in the opposite direction and go watch paint dry or something. It has to be more entertaining than this.